sneaky cube farting...

BUT SERIOUSLY...

there is barely a wall separating us, and it's not really a wall at all, now is it? and it's not like she's sitting with 4 walls and a door. it's as public as walking into the middle of a restaurant and farting next to some tables...i'm like dayem woman! this stinks, both figuratively and literally

in the calm words of brandon ryan, all i have to say is this:
there is a difference between a fart that smells like shit and smelling shit. this is effing heinous. it's not even like smelling just shit...no, that would be too easy. this is like smelling an adult sized diaper filled with poo that has been left out for a few days in the sun.

i'm dying. what do i do? do i leave? do i gag. do i cough? do i walk over there and say "look, i know your ass is 64, but seriously, was that accetable behavior?" and it's not like we're close friends because then it would be ok. it's like that sick twisted desire in all of us to catch a glimpse of what our closest friends have unleashed, yeah for like a second...you all know you're guilty of it. but then as soon as that first odor wafts into your nostrils you're like...GET ME THE EFF OUTTA HERE!!!

but she's such a dayem cute little lady. how can i do anything but smile.

hardwood going limp...ok den?

so we started out with this crazy bamboo obession...looking, pricing, purchasing, lugging, home depot stalking, stapling...WE WERE ON FIRE! and by we i do mean me, d, b money and of course cheps (for moral support that is). so d and b were hammering and pounding away (yes this is still me talking about the bamboo), and then suddenly we hit this 1 week hiatus. the room is 3/4 of the way done and life just won't seem to cut us any slack. sans any sort of space for us to actually lay down in a real bed, d and i have been shacking up on the couch for the past week and the crazies have been taking over our domain. bbopshee literally thinks my face is her scratching post at 3am, making that God-forsaken MEAH! noise (for those of you who know her...you know the noise), and chingoo can't get onto a couch without bbopshee pushing her off. serious napolean issues.

you know, i could laugh about it all (which we have been trying to maintain for a week now) and stare longingly at the jts for their crafty brazilian cherry purchase one mile down the street from our house, or i could stand by my man and feel accomplished and fulfilled at the end of the day! i choose the latter of the two, and while it's been a journey for us all, our floors have never looked more glorious!

so for all of your who are interested in putting down your own flooring take my advice...give yourself at least 12 straight hours, which includes: 20 trips to home depot, 10 equipment purchases, lots of beer, jalapeno poppers, chips, frustrated dog walking, 1 big ass bottle of excedrin, and a very loving spouse...and you'll be all set. dats nice.

steelers, food and super-balls!

ok, first i want to say that this weekend was nuts, fun and will have to be repeated every year from this point forward. yeah, d and i have come to the decision that the superbowl will have to be an annual hoover hosted event! thank all of you biatches who trekked out to the wonderful jungles of ashburn to A - take my hubby's money at poker and B - come on day 2 to celebrate in his momentous victory!! it was a wonderful weekend indeed. although i do have to say...24 hours of being with the same people, i think we all started to smell the same by the end of the weekend. but we love u guys and had a blast! one huge moment for me on poker night was playing my very first hand of real professional texas holdem...and by professional i mean playing with our own world poker champion brandon jones. and although he neglected to bring my "friend with special benefits" on saturday, she came through on sunday with a whoop-ass funfetti cake!!!

go steeler biatches!!!! baby, i am so proud of you and all that you did this season to help your steelers win. from your smiles to your cursing, and your laughter to your tears, it was all worth it when they whooped some seahawk ass!!! MUAH!!